For a small provision, this feels significant. It brings a modern convenience to an already established domain. And it might be causing a quiet stir.

I haven’t fully embraced email reactions. I’m sure there’s a place for it; I’m still trying to find it. As a millennial, I didn’t make the letter-writing cut-off. I joined the workforce when email communication was normal. And while I’ve taken my fair share of liberties to bend the rules, I’ve always associated emailing with a certain level of etiquette and professionalism.

Does this mean email can’t be fun and casual? Hardly! Emojis show how email communication has evolved with the times to accommodate new forms of expression. I wrote about emojis in a previous post and I’m increasingly using them to add a touch of lightness to my emails.

But email reactions – despite being emojis themselves – have not quite landed for me. Here’s why I think that is.

React versus Respond

I’ve always viewed email as a tool for considered communication, even if it’s casual. Email is a platform where words are the primary means of expression. Everything else (pictures, formatting, emojis and more) enhances the meaning of words; accentuating here and emphasising there. As such, there’s a level of forethought that goes into writing, and receiving emails. This is integral to the email experience. 

Email reactions upend this idea, suggesting we can react to emails rather than respond to them with words. This takes some getting used to. I admit, I’ll need to unlearn some things to fully embrace this opportunity.

I’m happy to share that I’ve started playing around with email reactions. At the moment, I use email reactions to acknowledge messages, mainly in settings where I have a working relationship with the other person. This is typically within my immediate team and colleagues I collaborate with. 

I also limit my reactions to positive gestures: a thumbs up for acknowledgement, a smile for humour and so on. I stay clear of negative reactions like a frown or a surprised look. If I need to differ, I want to use words because they allow for much more clarity.

In these instances, I want to respond to an email, and not react to it.

Wider use

I asked a contact how they use this new feature and they were quite welcoming of it.

.. I like it for responding to group emails. The farewell or congratulation emails that go to distribution lists. 

Considered and professional.

Next, I turned to a Reddit thread for a snapshot of online sentiment. Those familiar will know Reddit for its colourful expression at the very least. There was no shortage of commentary so I used Google’s Gemini to sum it up.

Some people find the feature useful and time-saving. Others find it unprofessional and confusing. Many people are also frustrated with Microsoft’s unpredictable rollout of new features.

Mixed feelings in short. 

This innovation probably has a critical mass of willing users. But it may have another significant challenge in the way of unlocking its full potential: It’s not available to everyone. 

For example, at the time of writing this, email reactions come standard with all Gmail accounts but Microsoft Outlook users need a qualifying subscription to access it. This means that Outlook users on the free tier cannot react to emails they receive from anyone, including Gmail users.

For a feature like this to become mainstream, I believe it needs to be available to everyone at no additional cost. Why? Because we already have free, personal email accounts, and there’s no business case for email reactions as a paid add-on. I hope Microsoft and other providers will follow Google’s lead in this regard.

Looking ahead

For better or worse, email reactions are here to stay. The innovation adds a layer of richness to email communication. There’s nothing wrong with that. 

This feels like an inflexion point in how we relate to email, not unlike the transition away from physical letters many moons ago. There’s bound to be some tension and turbulence as different elements converge to shape how we express ourselves online, and as nostalgia contends with novelty. 

I’m sure we’ll find a way to forge ahead – we always do. To secure my full buy-in, however, I’d propose that a few reactions be added to what looks like a limited set of options in Outlook:

and

These are just some of my favourites, but what’s stopping us from making the full emoji list available for selection? The more the merrier!

I wonder what this conversation would look like for the next generation. Perhaps we’d have an AI agent read the email out loud (or a summary of it), and we’d be debating whether to delegate a response to AI agents or whether that option would be unethical given the environmental cost of AI.

Let’s see!

In this thought, I reflect on the year that’s been through the lens of gratitude – something I’m learning to do more. It’s not been a perfect year per se. But it’s been a great year. Here are five reasons that rank high on the list of things I’m grateful for in 2023. 

Good Health

If there’s one thing you learn to value as you get older, it’s good health. I’m grateful for mine. I didn’t have any serious health concerns this year. That said, there have been challenges in my immediate circle that made health and wellbeing front of mind for me this year. 

A significant factor in this regard is access to good healthcare. I’ve seen the benefits of this up close this year, and I’m immensely grateful for access to good healthcare.

Good health affects life directly and profoundly, not just for the person concerned but also for everyone around them who cares.

There’s also mental health. I’ve taken more ownership of my well-being in this area lately and can say I’m much better for it. Like physical health, I’m learning to embrace the idea that good mental health requires constant effort. 

Meaningful Connection

I’ve enjoyed being nourished by the relationships I’ve had this year. On relationships, I’ve learnt that quality is more important than count. I’ve had the privilege of making new quality connections this year while deepening the existing ones. 

On a personal note, I can share that my most important relationship has undoubtedly been (and remains) with my darling wife. Together, we’ve made light of major headwinds this year.

Meaningful Work

Work has always been important to me. I’m grateful to have produced some of my best work this year, creatively and professionally.

Also, as someone who makes sense of reality through writing, the privilege of being able to share my thoughts on this platform is not lost on me – I couldn’t be more grateful!

I take this positive energy into the year (and years) ahead. 

Peace

While the year has not been without its tremors and turbulences, it’s been relatively calm. I’ve enjoyed having peace this year, sometimes defying my immediate circumstances. I’ve also had multiple opportunities to pause, reflect and gain invaluable perspective. 

Travel

My wife and I travelled this year for leisure for the first time since the pandemic hit. There’s a benefit to travel, especially international travel: It’s a humbling reminder of how big and socially diverse the world is. We got to catch a glimpse of it yet again.

Photo credits: The Hezekiah home

While the awards are aspirational for actors, directors and filmmakers, they have a different appeal for everyone else. Many of us are touched by film in some form or shape. The Oscars – as the annual ceremony is colloquially known – allow us to dwell on those human touch points and reflect on why they matter to us. So much so that when we root for an actor or a film to be nominated, and win, we are essentially rooting for the performance that touched us the most. 

In this thought, I tease out a few of those touch points, echoed on the big stage. 

It’s Never Too Late To Shine

In a world that idolises youthful achievements, we’re constantly reminded that time is fleeting. And while the top 20 under 20, and 40 under 40 are legitimately praiseworthy, these yardsticks minimise contributions that lack a youthful lustre, often matured by years of deep, broad experience. They’re just not seen as brandable.

But alas, in the real world, we don’t get to decide where and when opportunity finds us. We can only prepare and hope to be ready for it. And (especially) when our stories don’t align with conventional markers of progress and success, we feel pressure to make up for what we didn’t achieve in our prime. 

Michelle Yeoh is redefining prime time altogether. It’s not been easy for her though. Those familiar with the industry will know that minorities still struggle to find their place in it. And despite her glowing talent on set, Michelle’s journey has been no different. Receiving the best actress award for her role in Everything Everywhere All At Once, an emotional Yeoh implores: 

Ladies, Don’t let anybody tell you that you are ever past your prime. 

It’s a message that resonates with everyone who feels the urge to make something of a career that has not quite blossomed on cue. It resonates especially with minorities, who often lack the same level of support and opportunity as their peers. Despite the odds, we can, and should still dream. Michelle captures this idea perfectly in the opening remarks of her acceptance speech. 

For all the little boys and girls who look like me watching tonight, this is a beacon of hope and possibilities. This is proof that dreams do come true. 

Greatness Needs A Friend

In all things, preparation and perseverance come before applause and acclaim. The idea of private nurture followed by public bloom is best illustrated in nature. Take a tree for example. An elaborate root structure is hidden from sight. All we see is the beauty and magnificence of the shoot system, and the fruit it produces. 

It’s natural to applaud talent when it is acclaimed. And we should. The real legwork, however, is a largely private affair. And in those private moments of growth, the support structures around one’s talent influence its longevity – that ability to go the distance.

Ke Huy Quan’s acceptance speech for the best supporting actor was a moving reminder of this. Fighting back tears, he had a special thank you for someone close.

I owe everything to the love of my life, my wife Echo who.. 

He pauses, taking a moment to collect himself

..who month after month, year after year, for 20 years told me that one day, one day my time will come. 

As with every achievement, we’re reminded that the journey towards fruition can be painful, even crushing. And in those darkest moments, it matters who is in your corner. It’s tempting to think that talent will always prove itself, and shine brightly, regardless of circumstance. But those who make it to the top always swear by the support structures that carried them through adversity.

Indeed, greatness needs a friend!

Winning Is Not Everything

This is admittedly an unlikely takeaway from a night reserved for celebrating winners. Of course, there’s virtue in recognising distinction in all forms. That said, there’s more to life than winning prizes. Lots more. Real life happens off-stage, and getting it right is the ultimate prize. 

We go through life searching for the things that make it worthwhile: Love, purpose, wonder and the pursuit of happiness to name a few. Those fortunate enough to find meaning in this life know very well how such findings render the other things insignificant. As it happens, those other things often seem aspirational, taking up much of our time and attention. It’s an irony of sorts that finding the true meaning of life helps us see clearly what’s not important.

There was a moment that captioned this idea perfectly when Jonathan Wang took to the stage to accept the award for best picture. Indeed his words – a quote from the film he produced – paint a beautiful picture of what the glitzy stuff looks like, juxtaposed against something timeless.

To my brilliant and beautiful wife Anni. If all this shiny stuff and tuxedos goes away I would just love to do laundry and taxes with you for the rest of my life.

In this statement, I hear something of his reason for being. Such is the outlook of someone living a life endowed with meaning. The things that ground and inspire us, also help us make the most of everything else. The trick is to find the things that ground and inspire us. 

Final Thoughts

When someone gets on stage to receive an award and give a speech, they get to define what that moment means to them. They decide who to thank, and who to celebrate. They also decide which real-world issues to acknowledge, and speak to why those issues matter. 

There’s no right or wrong thing to say when speaking from the heart. Think of it as an imperfect snapshot of their values, rendered in a few brief words, often punctuated by teary, emotional gasps. 

And every time this happens, we get to glimpse something of the meaning of life, through their words.

Too many chiefs and not enough Indians.

To be sure, this phenomenon is not an Indian exclusive. In the course of a day, we’re exposed to a dizzying torrent of messages, all prosecuting matters on every conceivable topic, and at varying levels of intensity. It’s a modern-day problem, helped along by the technologies that make us all the more accessible. Some messages are more subtle and suggestive – a motivational word here, a unique thought there – while others forcefully evangelise their truth, complete with unbridled moralising and calls for reform.

Whichever the case, they all boil down to the same thing: Someone, somewhere is trying to convince you of (or promote) something. But attention – needless to say – has its limits. Like time, it is a finite resource, not to be spent prodigally. And the dividends we reap from this resource – as with any other – depend largely on how prudently we spend it. 

In no particular order, this thought explores some of the methods I use to conserve my attention and energy, so that it’s available to me when I actually need it.

On Watching News

I read The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris many years ago. I’m still working 9 – 5 so I’ve clearly not embraced all of it. That said, an idea from the book that I find incredibly relevant is that the news (mostly) is not worth watching. Here’s a clarifying statement from Mr Ferris’s podcast:

“The vast majority of news is going to make you either anxious or really pissed off, and if you’re not prepared or able to take action on something that is within your sphere of control, it’s really just creating energy leaks that will drain you.”

Before reading the book, I never stopped to consider the usefulness of consuming the news. It’s one of those things I just did, not unlike a civic duty. I saw remarkable results when I stopped watching and listening to the news. I became less anxious, and more hopeful, all while living the same life, in the same world. And it’s not hard to see why. Since I cannot do anything about the unfortunate things that make the news, creating space for them in my consciousness will only paint a grim picture of the world. 

It’s not that the news itself is wrong or irrelevant. But the sheer lack of agency makes it hard to resolve, creating a tension that manifests as anxiety and an overall pessimistic outlook. This is not ideal. 

Since I like to know what’s happening in the world, I browse the headlines on my preferred news app. Doing this once or twice a day only takes a few moments. It’s a healthier alternative to sitting through 30 – 60 minutes of the highly polarised evening news. 

As it happens, the news isn’t the only source of negativity to be curtailed. 

Healthy Connections

It’s helpful to have some means of qualifying the people in your life. Not all contacts (and relationships) are created equal. My approach to this is quite rudimentary. I consider whether I want to have more of the conversations I tend to have with a contact. This works for me because I’m big on conversation. And since it’s easy to tell a great conversation from a lousy one, I believe this approach also ensures that the relationship is mutually beneficial.

The big idea here is knowing the value of my time (and attention) and being intentional about who I share it with. A relationship that is not helpful to either party will die of natural causes in most cases. Sometimes, however, one may need to act to protect one’s personal space. I’m not averse to blocking contacts who espouse values I don’t identify with.

Boundary setting is liberating because it frees up your time and energy for the things that matter. It’s not easy per se, but it’s necessary.

In her Ted Talk titled Good boundaries free you, Sarri Gilman brings real-world context to the discourse on boundary setting. Her book on the subject – Transform Your Boundaries – provides a deeper dive into the need for boundary setting and what healthy boundaries look like. 

There’s yet another avenue for noise and stress to filter through. It’s one that we can take immediate steps to contain.

Mute Social Media

In a previous article, I referenced evidence showing how social media algorithms are optimised to keep us engaged. With time I’ve learnt to clarify what I want from social media to myself. This goes a long way towards moderating my use of it. Here are some questions I ask myself. 

1. How accessible do I want to be?
2. Who do I want to hear from?
3. Which group/s do I want to be a part of?
4. What discussion topics do I care about?
5. Who do I want to connect with?

These questions are not set in stone. They evolve with my priorities. Importantly, they help me set the agenda for my use of social media. The point of this is best captured in a phrase by Melinda Gates:

If you don’t set your own agenda, somebody else will.

It helps to have some level of agency in how we use social media platforms. If not, you’ll be at the mercy of an algorithm that doesn’t know or care for your interests.

As a rule, I have my privacy settings dialled up. I don’t enable email or app notifications. This helps ensure that I’m not receiving updates from the platform whenever someone posts something. I’ll get updated when I’m curious. 

All Together

It’s a noisy world we live in, but it doesn’t have to be noisy for you. By actively managing where your time and attention are spent, you can control the nature and quality of information you’re exposed to. This is necessary. It reduces stress and enhances your quality of life. Importantly, it also frees you up to discover and pursue the things that matter.

So why not?

We all know what time it is.

It’s Christmas. A time for gift-giving, sharing meals with loved ones and rekindling old friendships. Time to be on our best behaviour, and to embrace a heightened sense of humanity. Sometimes the occasion brings us close to those we’ve stayed away from, and conversation can get spirited. Other times it brings us close to those we’re happy to see after so long, and those conversations warm the heart.

There’s no grand prize for spreading the most Christmas cheer. Christmas is, however, a unique opportunity to be relevant, more so than other times during the year. It presents the perfect occasion for anyone looking to foster high-trust habits that engender fruitful one-on-one interactions. 

Let’s explore some of these less celebrated habits for making a difference – and for winning hearts – both during this opportune season and beyond. 

Show Gratitude

Gratitude is both a habit and a virtue. There’s a reason why the gratitude journal is so wildly popular today. It forces us to pause and reflect on the things we’re grateful for. And over time, these reflections compound into a positive outlook on life. 

So how does gratitude factor into winning hearts? I believe holidays like Christmas are the perfect opportunity to thank someone who has influenced you positively. You want to cast a wide net here: it could be a colleague, friend, family member or neighbour. The guiding question is simple: Who are you grateful to have known this year? Ideally, you want to be clear and specific in articulating what you’re grateful for. They may have helped you grow professionally or been a source of strength through a difficult period.

In holiday mode, it is not awkward to say thank you for something that happened a while back. And a gesture that is not required by social norm is far more likely to be authentic than a mere formality. Its genuineness is discernible to the recipient. 

Pro-tip, if you don’t know the other person well enough to pick out something you’re grateful for, an honest compliment will work just as well. 

It does take some boldness for most people, myself included, to reach out in this manner. Not everyone’s character lends naturally to such initiative. Thankfully, there are other less gutsy options you might want to explore if this is not your forte. 

Listen Up

As stated, Christmas brings us closer together, literally. With the festivities in full swing, there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself in social gatherings and celebrations. This means conversations are going to be had one way or another. And that in itself is an opportunity.

Conversations are easily the most accessible way to form meaningful connections. While having them, we give and receive attention naturally through dialogue. 

In my view, conversations are under-utilised. That’s because there’s a proper way to have them, and it’s easy to miss the mark here. In the best conversations, participants try to draw out contributions from each other, each person eager to be the audience while the other speaks. Conversely, in the worst conversations, participants take up a podium position, speaking incessantly without really hearing the other, not unlike a political debate. These tend to go off-topic easily and are not helpful to anyone. It only takes one podium to ruin a good conversation. 

Being the listener this Christmas will make you a far more relevant presence. Listeners create room for others to be themselves in a conversation. They do this by showing enough interest in what’s being said to make the others feel heard. Paradoxically, by not saying too much, you can ensure the other person enjoys your company and has a great conversation with you. If you’ve ever conversed with a great listener, you’ll know just how easy-going those conversations are. 

It takes time and practice to find one’s preferred listening style. But it doesn’t take as much initiative as showing gratitude or giving a compliment. When done right, good listening leads to yet another opportunity to be socially relevant this Christmas season.

Encourage Others

Has someone ever shared something personal while conversing with you without being asked? Congratulations. That means you gained their trust. People are only vulnerable when they sense the conversation is a safe space for it. This is what effective listening leads to – safe spaces.

It’s an honour to gain someone’s trust. It is also an opportunity to speak directly to where they are in their journey, as a source of strength. In your conversations this Christmas you could run into these impromptu opportunities. You want to be ready to seize them. So what does that look like? Here are some examples of comments that exemplify seizing the opportunity here: 

1. All the best with that project, you’ve got this.
2. Congrats on your new role. I’m rooting for you.
3. If you ever need to speak, I’m here for you.

Such unscripted comments acknowledging where people are in their journey are deeply impactful. They come from an honest place and speak to a tangible need. Be it the need to be celebrated, validated, or simply supported. While the opportunity to be a source of strength and hope usually comes up in conversation, it’s not exclusive to them. It can present in ways we least expect. 

There is one more thing that is crucial to winning hearts this Christmas. 

Take Care Of Yourself

As the proverb goes, You cannot pour from an empty cup!

The capacity to win hearts does not come from a magical void. It comes from an emotional reservoir. One continually depleted by the demands of life. As such, we should form the habit of replenishing it. This is a well-being imperative. 

Self-care is now more popular than ever. We are seeing an awakening on the subject. There is a clear need for wellness in an enhanced set of areas beyond the purview of traditional healthcare. Alas, the core tenets of self-care are not common knowledge or common sense. Thankfully, this is a fast-growing field, and we have more working notes on it.

Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith is a physicist and a leading scholar on work-life integration. Her work on rest (also featured in a previous article here in The Finance Chapter) explores the seven types of rest. Her Ted Talk has invaluable nuggets we can apply for immediate results. Here is an insight from the talk. 

“..an emotional and social rest deficit often co-exist occurring when we fail to distinguish between relationships that revive us, from those that exhaust us.”

For a deeper dive, her book titled Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity, is available on Amazon Kindle, paperback and audio.

It’s OK to want to win hearts this Christmas. This noble growth aspiration shows a willingness to touch lives for the better. It is not OK, however, if this comes at the expense of anyone’s well-being. 

I wish you a Merry Christmas. Take care of yourself and (if you can) someone else too.

I remember a time when seeing a shrink – as therapists were infamously called – was frowned on. Jokes were made about it. Things are different now. The derogatory term shrink is not nearly as popular as it used to be. And seeing a therapist is widely accepted as part of leading a healthy (even progressive) life.

We’re living through something of an awakening on the subject. To varying degrees, we’ve embraced the need to be intentional about the state, and health of our minds. It’s great that we have this momentum. 

Mental health remains, however, an inherently delicate, complex and nuanced subject. What it looks like varies from one person to another, and a blanket solution does not apply. 

I am not an expert on the subject. I do believe that we should create more room for the conversation to be had. 

To better appreciate the topic, it helps to understand why it’s so messy. 

Why Mental Health Is Complicated

I’ve come to believe that mental well-being involves negotiating certain tensions. And without self-awareness, they can be hard to recognise, let alone acknowledge. 

Here are a few such tensions. The need for belonging versus the need for space. The need for growth against the need for certainty. And (indeed) the need to become against the need to be present. Even the need for healthy stress creates tension with the need for calm. These pairs are easy to appreciate. The reality though isn’t always as tidy. 

When I arrived in Australia almost a decade ago, I had hoped to settle into a career that matched my skills and qualifications. But landing the right opportunity proved impossible for whatever reason. The needle just wasn’t budging and the years kept ticking by. 

Even though I knew better, it still felt like a personal indictment. And it took a lot of work for me to see things in a different light. I’m grateful to have had the right support structure to navigate those crucial moments.

Thankfully, I’m in a much better place career-wise. And while it’s not what I aimed for, I’m grateful for where I am, and the journey that’s been. Along the way, I’ve learnt to accept that a career may not give me all the opportunity I need to realise my potential. And that’s OK. I’m happy to make the most of it, understanding that I am not my career. Notably, this insight has released me to explore some exciting new possibilities, like the article you’re enjoying right now. Wink!

I’ve drawn this example from just one of many domains, career. Mental health strains are varied and each one adds a layer of complexity to the situation. It’s not black and white. Like physical health, I’ve had to make mental well-being a priority to make any progress on it. 

That’s been a journey.

Rethinking Posture

The penny drops differently for everyone. For me, a pivotal moment was watching a couple of high-profile sporting figures take a stance on the matter.

Simone Biles withdrew from several events in the 2020 Summer Olympics games (held in 2021) citing mental health concerns. Biles was inspired by fellow female Olympian Naomi Osaka, who had withdrawn from the French Open and Wimbledon Championships earlier in the year for similar reasons.

Other public figures have shone their light on mental health. But I was especially moved to a place of reckoning by these two athletes whom I’ve come to admire. By having their vulnerability on full display, they taught me to – at the very least – be honest with myself about my struggles. And I’ve had a few. 

This is not the only thing that led me to consider my posture on mental well-being. It is, however, one of the most consequential. I can’t say precisely why that is. It just landed in the right place for me, and I’m grateful for that. 

I would venture to say that the most important thing anyone can do for their mental health is to bring it into focus. Acknowledge the need and make it a priority. This is no small feat. Despite all the awareness and provisions around mental well-being today, there’s still a lot of stigma on the subject. In that context, merely framing it as a priority is a bold move. The impetus for it varies with individuality and circumstance. But it’s a place of reckoning that each person must somehow reach, to have the right posture on mental well-being.

It releases one to do the needful, and take steps towards better health.

Moving Forward

Mental well-being ailments are varied, each with its remedy. Sometimes a habit (or mindset) change is all it takes. In other cases, there’s a need for external help.

Seeking help is an extremely courageous thing to do. It should be sourced from experts and those who have already demonstrated the character, maturity and humility to respond aptly to such delicate needs. That’s because anyone in need of help is already vulnerable. So while there’s a need to seek help, it’s also necessary to qualify sources of help. Due diligence is required. 

Indeed what an ideal intervention for mental well-being looks like is not all that clear. Notably, we have some emerging lexicon to describe interventions that offer some hints here. Grace, boundaries, mindfulness, healing, and safe spaces are all examples of phrases we’re hearing more of as we evolve and clarify what well-being looks like in this relatively new domain.

These phrases are rooted in ideas we can appreciate. There’s still, however, much stigma on mental health. It’s fair to expect some headwinds. Grace, for example, may not sit well with a critical instinct – which we have in abundance – and setting boundaries could feel like an attempt to end ties irreparably. Once again, there will be tensions to navigate. A clear resolve is crucial to getting through the pushback we can reasonably expect from the orthodoxy.

That notwithstanding, there’s every reason to be hopeful. We enjoy a lot more room for well-being conversation than ever before. Indeed it’s fashionable in some instances. Government departments and employers are on board, providing much-needed resourcing to fund support networks and hotlines. There’s no better time than now to make mental well-being a priority.

As we give ourselves grace and (where possible) extend it to others, we should remember that mental well-being is a journey. One that’s accentuated by the peaks and troughs of life. It is not possible to arrive at the final destination. It takes some humility to admit this.

Once again, I don’t write as an expert. I do write as someone who cares about this topic enough to give it some thought. And these are my thoughts at the moment. I hope we can all take something away from it, to better ourselves, and thrive.

Take care.

At the hotel, we encountered a masterclass in customer service. For my part, I expected great service – we had lodged in the same hotel before and knew they were good – but I didn’t expect to be writing about it. 

The Back Story

Shortly after check-in, we had an opportunity to upgrade our stay. We jumped at it, lugged our articles to the new space and got settled. Fast forward a couple of hours and we realised a TV in the room was not working. After some back and forth on whether it was worth the effort, we decided to make the call. We were paying customers, and we wanted a service that met our expectations.

A short call to the concierge later, we had someone coming up to our room. The gentleman who showed up displayed service at its finest. Let’s call him Deon. His exquisite mannerisms and etiquette elevated our experience. He tinkered for a while and eventually explained – in between profuse apologies – that this was a software issue and his domain is more in the hardware space. He would further disclose how this was a rare but familiar problem occurring in a small number of rooms, and promised to inform the right team. He thanked us for our understanding and reaffirmed that he’ll be referring the matter. Eager to demonstrate our appreciation for his efforts, we also thanked him for his service. Deon extended a handshake on his way out, a bold goodwill gesture reserved for settings of shared confidence and trust.

We certainly felt heard by this point. We couldn’t have cared less about a TV set that wouldn’t work for whatever reason. There was a second unit that worked just fine. But what happened next took the service experience up a few notches for us. 

Deon returned a short while later to confirm that he had referred the matter as promised. In a subsequent visit, he also shared some additional information to help us source TV channels that would normally be available through a paid service. Because our main interest was in using our Netflix and Amazon Prime subscriptions, we didn’t realise this was an option. It was good information. 

To be sure, the service level at this hotel – as noted – was characteristically exquisite. Even in that context, this was above and beyond. Touched by the experience, I found myself reflecting on it a bit. And I landed on an invaluable insight. An epiphany, if you will. 

The Insight

I learnt that customers simply want to be treated fairly. Let’s unpack this idea.

Organisations do their best to get customer service right, often putting vast resources towards it. The failures are regrettable, and the wins, remarkable. But for the most part, I’d say they’re hitting the right notes. 

The expectation from both ends is that service levels are good enough. However, customers and organisations tend to have different ideas of what this means. Organisations hold themselves to a legal contract, whereas customers hold organisations to a social contract. For the most part, these are the same, but problems have a way of teasing out the differences between them. 

When I called the concierge to raise the concern about the TV not working, I was not interested in the TV per se. I wanted the hotel facility to do the right thing by me. I care about this, and I imagine you do too. But, you’ll never see these words on a legal contract. 

Deon showed exceptional maturity in dealing with the situation. He knew it was not a matter of legality, but fairness. When it became apparent that we had an advocate in him, we didn’t need to keep advocating for ourselves. His efforts were more than sufficient to redress our unspoken concerns. He acknowledged the issue and offered value-adding options. These outcomes don’t occur by accident but are products of intentional design. Here’s How. 

The Enabling Culture

Whenever an issue is acknowledged, it releases the customer to stop advocating for themselves. They instantly feel heard. Acknowledging a concern is a bold gesture in itself, and it doesn’t come easily. That’s because nobody wants to be stuck with a concern they’ve acknowledged but cannot address. This is where the right support proves its value. Fundamentally, the culture determines whether the service agent perceives the matter as “mine individually” or “ours corporately,” and acts accordingly. 

Some issues require service agents to reach out to a different person or team. Once again, culture plays a key role in whether this is feasible. In a hostile culture, the buck gets passed a lot, and merely anticipating such collaborative effort can be prohibitive. Contrast this with a culture that takes a bold and unapologetic stance on customer service 

Perhaps one of the most celebrated customer-centric brands is that of The Ritz-Carlton Luxury Hotel group. They are lauded for giving their Ladies and Gentlemen – as they refer to employees – discretion to authorise spends of up to $2,000 to resolve customer concerns. This applies to employees at all levels and the spending does not require managerial approval. Imagine the confidence with which a Lady or Gentleman would serve you, knowing they had the full backing of their employer. This is empowering customer service, and Ritz-Carlton proves there’s a strong business case for it. 

To be clear, we didn’t stay at the Ritz (all in good time). That notwithstanding, Deon is a true Gentleman.

Final Thoughts

It’s always fascinating to see how much we invest in research and data analytics, only to learn what we could have reasoned through common sense. Of course, research and data have their use. But when it comes to customer service, the internal compass is easily a more robust guide. It teaches us that people want service with humanness and dignity. They want to be seen as individuals, not numbers on a screen. And they certainly want to feel belonging. 

These fundamentals are not unthinkable. Quite the opposite. They capture the very essence of humanity. And organisations that go the extra mile to honour and validate something of that shared essence, will continue to win hearts and the wallets that accompany them. 

The best contributions are always the product of collaborative efforts. One person can have a great idea, but it takes more than one person to turn it into an inspired product or service – something that touches and impacts lives. The old adage, two heads are better than one, captures this truth succinctly. But all too often, the benefits of collaboration are elusive, even when the case for it is clear. Like many great ideas, it doesn’t always fly. The reason for this has much to do with the very nature of collaborative work.

When people collaborate, there’s a seismic shift in the work dynamic. It involves giving up something for the greater good; autonomy. But making the switch from work autonomy to shared work is not as easy as it seems. Collaboration thrusts us into proximity to our colleagues, accentuating our differences in ways that are hard to ignore. Throw power and status variations into the mix and we have the makings of a political game. When collaborating, it’s tempting to avoid the frictions and tensions that stem from individual differences. In this context, by sharing a contrarian viewpoint, one risks alienation. Nobody wants this. To understand just how strong this need to fit in is, let’s consider the science.

In 1951, psychologist Solomon Asch conducted a study showing how eagerly people conform in group settings. The study asked subjects to make a simple visual observation. Remarkably, 75% of subjects gave at least one incorrect answer after hearing other group members – who were actors in the experiment with detailed instructions on how to respond in each trial – give the same incorrect answer. The Asch conformity test shows how strong the temptation to conform can be. So strong that people are willing to contradict their own senses. 

This lesson has implications for how we collaborate. The urge to conform and fit in is a strong motivator. This is not an objectively bad idea per se. But at the extreme, it’s harmful. It can cause individuals to forgo their better judgments in favour of belonging. When this happens, it stifles collaboration by keeping (potentially game-changing) contributions at bay. In a yes yes culture, thought diversity doesn’t flourish, preempting any innovations that could have been – a high price to pay for conformance and agreeableness. 

But it doesn’t have to be this way. 

There’s another type of culture where people can agree to disagree, even while working closely together. It is the antithesis of a yes yes culture. Here differences are not only welcomed but also encouraged. This is the true essence of collaboration – where people see the value (and opportunity) in other people’s perspectives. But such a culture doesn’t happen by accident or luck. It’s a product of intentional design. 

As Simon Sinek famously puts it:

The real job of a leader is not about being in charge, it’s about taking care of those in our charge.

Leaders create psychologically safe spaces that enable everyone else to feel belonging. Once this baseline need is satisfied, the motivation to behave in ways that safeguard belonging falls away. The focus naturally shifts to doing meaningful work. Collaborators don’t see themselves as competitors – there are no winners or losers when everyone is on the same team. They share a purpose that’s bigger than any one of them. 

Admittedly, it takes some psychological flexibility to work through professional differences and produce great work. Professionals can and do bring a healthy dose of humanity and maturity to their collaborative endeavours, commendably so. But this sort of thinking doesn’t catch on where the cultural momentum for it is lacking. 

Summary

Collaborative efforts, and the technologies that extend their reach, work best at bringing individual talents together when they’re not working against the tide of culture. The right culture creates belonging for everyone, removing fears that can stifle shared work. In this sense, it creates an environment in which collaborators see their work in a new light. They see it as an opportunity to reach for (and achieve) more. More purposeful, meaningful work. Shared efforts naturally thrive amidst shared pursuits. 

The most consequential factor in any culture is leadership. Indeed culture is widely viewed as the barometer for leadership. To unleash talent, leaders need to ensure that everyone on the team feels a sense of belonging. Failing this, some might feel like they’re merely passing through – en route to a better place where they actually belong. They’ll do what they can to fit in while they’re here. 

Leaders who understand this will go the extra mile to ensure that the right message is verbalised and actualised. And the organisations they lead will continue winning in the race, both to acquire and unleash talent.

The Influencer

I recall an era when we spoke only of influential people. But the rise of social media has seen the influencer term emerging from relative obscurity to the phenomenon it currently is – an aspirational title, complete with modern perks, power and status. To be sure, not everyone on social media aims for this prize. Most are happy to be intrigued, inspired, humoured or otherwise engaged. But for the outliers to the progressive left of the curve, the proposition is markedly different. There’s an opportunity to be relevant, an opportunity to become. Social media instantly creates a massive addressable market. Several in fact. And theirs is to address it. So they commit to creating the sort of content others want to consume. Content that matters. Not the easiest feat in a fiercely competitive domain. But if they can find their niche, hone their craft and deliver consistently, they too can bask in the glory of social media stardom and reap the coveted benefits of influencer status. 

But there’s a catch. The content actually needs to be relevant for it to matter. Nobody is going to reward content creators with their audience if it’s not meeting a need. In this context, attention equals validation. 

So here’s the question I’ve pondered: 

Is leadership in the social media space any different than leadership anywhere else?

A Natural Experiment

The pandemic provided the perfect opportunity to observe the evolving leadership proposition in social media at play. The evidence is telling in the trend. In a section of its 2021 annual report titled How the tide has changed for influencers, the Global Web Index (GWI), a market research company that specialises in online trends, shared some insight on the subject. The report echoed the arguments of writer Chloe Combi that “2020’s ideological shifts caused young people to shift their focus onto true role models and away from polished influencers.” This was on the backdrop of lifestyle influencers coming under fire after travelling to Dubai for a photoshoot, citing essential work, while the rest of the country dealt with the pandemic and lockdown. The incident led to mass un-followings. 

The report notes that the argument aligns with several aspects of GWI data. This insight reveals that followers on social media want to know that their leaders care about the issues that affect them. Empathy matters on social media, as it does off it. 

Looking back in the recent past, my expectations of the social media influencers I follow mirror this sentiment. I now hold influencers who at least acknowledged the social justice and pandemic issues of 2020 in higher regard. Conversely, I have moved on from influencers who were silent on these issues. I still think they are great at what they do. But something that connected us was lost, and the trust level in our relationship has since changed. 

Altogether

We’ve all experienced the random follow request from a contact looking to build an audience for their message. A reasonable goal without question. Reflect with me on your initial response to these requests; Inspired, intrigued or irritated? You get the gist – the batting average here is hardly inspiring. 

Herein lies one of the great perils of social media – it makes posturing remarkably effortless. However, if the above message is anything to go by, leadership is the same in any context, and social media is no different. 

But because social media is wired for instant gratification, it’s tempting to focus on growing a following you can leverage as an influencer instead of building meaningful, human connections with your audience. Some influencers in the current climate are finding that they cannot fastrack empathy, or hack trust. They need to build these attributes. And building anything takes time and effort. It also makes all the difference. 

In his closing statement to a TED talk titled Why credibility is the foundation of leadership, Barry Posner made this remark: 

People will not believe the message if they don’t believe in the messenger

Barry Posner

An idea is a plan, suggestion, or possible course of action.

Ideas find us in many ways, from the grand epiphany to the gentle nudge. But they all have one thing in common: They all carry a promise of change. Ideas help us connect the dots between reality and possibility, clearly enough to inform action. In this sense, ideas also carry a message of hope, a commodity we cannot have in excess. 

So what’s your initial response when someone says I have an idea?

To appreciate how deeply ideas can resonate, think about your favourite TED talk. 

Ideas are elemental to who we are, embodying both our greatest aspirations and creative abilities. 

It’s no surprise that organisations have clued on to the untapped resource. They want some of it, understandably. True to their nature, ideas create new options for them. Options they need to thrive. And in the current business climate, this need is more pronounced and far more pressing than ever. 

Why Organisations Need More Ideas

Historically, companies have turned to ideation sessions and experts for new thinking to answer their most existential questions. Typically these are questions on sources of growth, how to leverage technology and (of course) differentiation. It’s easy to see how these questions link directly to the bottom line. But organisations are learning that to stay relevant, they must address a larger set of questions. Here are a few examples:

1. How do we stay true to our values in an evolving context?
2. What is our ethical stance on the climate, diversity, inclusion, privacy, animal rights, working conditions and flexibility among others?
3. What actions can we take to become better citizens?

Because consumers today are responsive to these issues, they hold the organisation to high standards, voting with their purchasing power. And so, in addition to the standard question set, organisations today need to mature their thinking on broader themes to stay relevant. They don’t just operate in a marketplace, they also operate in society. They need to become responsible members of society, with a conscience and values, like everyone else. This is a nuanced problem that can’t be solved with binary thinking. Getting it right on the social front will require a new set of ideas.

At this point, the question of whose ideas to run with becomes crucial. It’s also important to note that mature thinking here is not a skill set you can hire for but a stance to embrace. Since executive teams may not look like the markets and societies they serve just yet (to be sure, many of these teams are making a concerted effort and remarkable progress in this domain), there’s a strong case for allowing more voices to speak into this stance. Thankfully, companies already have direct access to a subset of society that they can use to generate and validate new ideas. That subset is their existing human capital. So how can they leverage this resource?

How To Leverage People’s Ideas In Organisations

Getting people to contribute their ideas is not a simple matter. Unlike a job that has a clear description, people’s ideas are personal to them. And for organisations to access those ideas, they’d have to master the delicacies of dealing with human beings. Thankfully, it’s not rocket science. There are things organisations can do to ensure they’re getting the people side of things right.

Make Employees Feel Appreciated

A 2020 HBR article echoes research findings that when people experience gratitude from their manager, they’re more productive. The article then articulates five strategies managers in organisations can adopt to make their employees feel appreciated.

Since ideas are so elemental to who we are, people naturally share their best ideas in environments where they feel appreciated. That’s why a focus on the employee experience is a necessary first step in bringing employees’ ideas forward. 

Ask For Ideas

Not everyone will share their thoughts without being asked. This is easily addressable. Ask for it. Asking sends a clear message that employee ideas are wanted and needed. If only it were that simple. In this riveting Forbes article aptly titled How The Army Got Soldiers To Share Their Great Ideas, Bryce Hoffman, writing on the experiences of two army commanders creating a shared idea pool to solve major challenges noted:

the real challenge, they soon discovered, was changing the culture to take advantage…

Interestingly, the pushback came from both rank and file staff as well as leaders. This article highlights the likely cultural challenges an organisation might face in its journey to becoming the type that receives ideas from its people.

It’s also helpful to note that there’s a right way to ask for ideas. Some topics are sensitive and employees would prefer sharing their ideas in person, to someone they know and trust, one to one. Other topics are more suited to a round table style discussion.

Create Incentives For Sharing Ideas

The reality of organisations today is that many employees work at (or near) capacity. Meaning that time spent sharing ideas is unplanned. So the employee has a decision to make: Do I want to use my time for sharing ideas? Some employees may well be driven by altruism, but on aggregate, the flow of ideas is helped by the right incentives. In the example of the two army commanders above, recognition of the unit with the best idea proved a consequential incentive. 

Summary

Idea pooling is not a magic wand that will transform organisations into more human corporations. But the journey towards becoming the organisation that listens to its own is a key part of developing the humility and maturity needed to tackle broader social issues.